we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
