i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He felt like a one man threesome
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
