you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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