We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
