Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
