Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
