dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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