I hate your face
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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