then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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