The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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