Just cropdusted the office
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The uberlube is also flammable
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
