there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
