I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
