STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
