im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
