If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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