I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
