My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
