she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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