So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
