you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
No subtext here. People are naked.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
