Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
