You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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