he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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