I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
