THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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