Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
