Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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