Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
