did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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