That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
