I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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