found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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