I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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