Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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