I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Boobs are out for the taking
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
