last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She needs sedatives and a leash
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
