Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
my poor anus
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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