one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
