in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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