Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
