get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
All the doctor said was why
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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