i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
