You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
