Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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