She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Is it penis luge time yet?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
