You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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