Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
