All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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