summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
