i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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