Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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