There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just high enough for therapy.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize