I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize