he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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