he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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