More tranny stories later!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just googled if crying burns calories
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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