Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
