He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize