if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
