you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
