Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
