But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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